{the.not.so.magical.world.of.disney.part.two}

After much drama (mainly me), we get in the car and tell panties-in-a-wad GPS girl that, indeed, we do want to go to Disney World. Specifically, the Magic Kingdom. Now, all is well until GPS girl decides that the parking lot is not where we want to go. Um, yes, it is. Now hush and calm down. Here's what no one told me. When you park in the Goofy parking lot (or whatever Disney character they've assigned your lot, as if that makes it so much more fun and magical), there is still a LOOOONG process to actually enter into the magic. Unaware of what is ahead, we open up the double stroller, and the girls gladly hop in. (This will not be the case after we have to do this five hundred times.) We stroll to the "golf carts," as Delaney called them, which Disney refers to as the "tram." Here's my issue - No one told me I was just going to have to collapse the blasted stroller again after walking 50 feet. Otherwise, I wouldn't have opened it in the first place. Seriously. So, after much stress and panic, Grammy and I collapse the stroller and get on the tram, as we take out a row of excited Chinese tourists with the now collapsed stroller. Then, the tram drops us off to our next destination, which is not magical either. We open up the stroller and wait to get on the monorail. We think that we have to, again, collapse the stroller so we go into panic mode AGAIN, only to realize that we could have just left the stroller opened. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. And many people saw me totally stress out as I tried to collapse the stroller with a tremendous backpack loaded on my back and two excited little girls dancing around way too close to the edge of the monorail. Of course, I don't see this because I'm too busy folding up the bloomin' stroller.

We make it on the monorail, and I'm already exhausted and ready to head back home. I'm sweaty and my hairsprayed panties are not holding up. Nonetheless, we press on towards the magic. We finally (and I mean FINALLY) enter the gates to the Magic Kingdom now that our backpacks have been searched only to turn up a thousand different snacks (none of which Addy liked) and water bottles, as if we were going to stay a week.

Have I mentioned that neither I nor my mom (Grammy) has any idea how to read a map. None. So we blindly head the route that I decided we should go in hopes of finding Minnie's house, for that is what the little girls are calling for. We ended up at Mickey's house, and I gotta say, it was pretty boring. I didn't see the magic at all. I begin to anxiously search for magic. We decide to hop on Goofy's rollercoaster, which was actually pretty fun, but Addy didn't totally agree. Her what-the-heck-is-this face told me so. Now, I knew that this particular part of the park is where we can meet the princesses, thanks to my Disney conisseur friend, Susanne, who insanely brings her family to Disney World at least once a year. Susanne, what are you thinking?? Anyway, we get in line to meet the princesses, and after much waiting and even more crying as Addy rolls on the floor and kicks and screams due to a severe lack of sleep (heck, I wanted to do the same, but, sadly, I turned 30 this year, and it's time to grow up), we finally enter the princess room. I must admit, it was so precious to see Delaney's and Addy's faces light up as the princesses greeted them and took pictures with them. (On a side note, I checked out the pictures taken by the photographers because I'm nosey like that. The pictures were TERRIBLE. No offense, Disney photographers, but I was not impressed. I have much to learn, but I could not believe that people actually pay TONS of money for bad pictures with princesses.)

We made it out of the princess room and went on to some fun rides - Pooh's honeypots, the carousel, the Flying Dumbo ride . . . all fairly uneventful and maybe even slightly fun. (I said SLIGHTLY. Not enough to make me return. Ever.) But here's what I observed as we went from ride to ride. Moms super frustrated with their kids. Dads that would rather be anyplace but the most magical place on earth. Brothers and sisters fighting. Grandmothers dragging. You know, at the happiest place on earth, you'd expect people to be, well, happy. Not the case. There were no families of five swinging arms and skipping from ride to ride. There were no lovey dovey couples just taking it all in. Not when you have to wait an hour to meet Pooh bear. I just found it fascinating. Where's the magic, people? I mean really.

We departed the park just after the parade of princesses and dancers, and I was not the least bit sad to leave. At least now I knew exactly how many times and when I had to collapse the blasted stroller. Back to our hotel we went with panties-in-a-wad GPS girl in tow. I was ready to go to bed at the late hour of 5:00, but Delaney and Addy, of course, were full of energy and ready to play. Yipee.

Tune in tomorrow to see if Addy slept through the night. And to find out why I thought I was going to get punched by a lady who was not my biggest fan.