{the.not.so.magical.world.of.disney.part.three}

So sorry I kept you hangin' yesterday. Did you guys realize that Christmas is a WEEK away? I'm apparently off on my days, which is clear on Delaney's Christmas count down. We had to glue on, like, 8 or 9 cottonballs to Santa's beard to make up for the days we've forgotten.

OK, so Addy did indeed sleep through the next night, thanks to my friends at Benadryl. Oh, how I love thee. We awoke at our regular early morning time, which allowed us to arrive at the park at a fairly decent time. HOWEVER, there was a thick layer of fog so the ferry boats were not running. Now, here's a question. There are all kinds of boat rides at Disney with the boats on TRACKS. So, here's a brilliant idea . . . put the ferry boats on TRACKS. Then, we don't have to wait with a million other people to get on the blasted monorail. There, I said it. So, after waiting what seemed like an eternity, we finally got on the monorail, stroller and all. I'm no fool anymore. I figured out the system so I don't have to collapse the stroller every five seconds. When we FINALLY (and I mean FINALLY) arrive in the park, it is PACKED. Um, last time I checked, school was still in SESSION. So what were all these kids doing there? Ugh. BUT, I had made a time schedule up for us on this day so we didn't miss any of the highlights. (If there were any to be found.) But, due to the delay of the monorail, we were already an hour behind schedule. We headed to "It's a Small World," where I think I would commit suicide if I had to work that particular ride. It's a precious ride, don't get me wrong, and about as politically correct a ride could be, but, wow, that song just keeps playing and playing and playing. Then, we headed to my most favorite thing - Mickey's Philharmagic (oh, yes, there's the magic again) 3-D show. Seriously, it was SO cool, and I was grabbing for everything along with every 3 and 4 year old as it appeared to fly at my face. The day continues, Addy still refuses to eat anything (INCLUDING THE FOUR DOLLAR PRETZEL I PURCHASED IN A MOMENT OF DESPERATION), and my mom and I starve for we're both too stubborn to admit we're hungry. We finally admit our starvation and head to what I thought was reasonably priced eatery. NO. NOT AT ALL. It would have cost the four of us over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to eat. And, since Addy wasn't eating anything anyway, what was the use? We head to a more reasonably priced eatery, only to find that, yes, it's closed for the season. Fabulous. We whip that stroller around, now angry and hungry and tired, and finally collapse in a restraunt that offers about five things, none of which are chicken nuggets. GASP. So, Grammy to the rescue . . . she goes across the way and gets the girls the only thing that they seem interested in . . . chicken nuggets and french fries. Addy still doesn't eat.

Refreshed and fed, we head to the Jungle Cruise, which was quite funny, I have to admit. After that, we bust a move over to the castle so we can see Cinderella light it up. It's a heavily anticipated moment that takes five forevers, but it is quite magical all lit up. We fight through the crowds and try to locate a spot to watch the Spectromagic (yep, it's magical) Parade. At this point, Delaney has asked for these ridiculously gigantic and expensive balloons at least one hundred times so, thanks to our precious friend, Shauna, I give them their money, and Grammy takes them to buy NINE DOLLAR PRINCESS BALLOONS. NINE DOLLARS. And they are HUGE. They could take out a whole family with one swoop. But the girls are delighted. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO GET THESE ON THAT BLASTED MONORAIL? And, HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO GET THEM HOME? I think of about a thousand ways to pop the balloons on "accident." Nothing works.

Just as the parade is about to begin, Addy decides that now is the time to go to the potty. Grammy graciously takes her (I would have made her wait) and, in the process, the lights go WAY down in the Magic Kingdom, in preparation for the parade. Grammy is nowhere to be found. So, we watch the parade anyway, and I hope that Grammy is OK, gigantic balloon and all. The parade is really incredible, except that my feet feel like they are sinking into the pavement, and I can only see some parts of it, as Delaney is on my shoulders and her big, poofy princess dress keeps covering my eyes. In all honesty, I'm miserable. But, my little girl is having the time of her life. So, that makes it worth it. I guess.

I've had all I can take, so I try to find Grammy. I call her, and she explains where she is located, but, of course, I'm totally unsure. And, in the millions of people packed in, I can't move. At all. So, I decide to wave the ridiculously large balloon in the air like a lunatic and see if Grammy can find us. She can't. I continue to wave the ridicously large balloon like a lunatic and eventually, we find Grammy. I explain we must leave. NOW. So we start going as fast as we can, which is a snail's pace with all of the people. At this point, I've run over about 22.4 people's ankles with the stroller and apologized profusely. We finally make it to the monorail but not before I run into one more person's ankles. And this lady was not a happy camper. I'm pretty sure she arrived to Disney an unhappy camper (heck, she may have arrived in this world an unhappy camper), but I clearly didn't make her day. She gave me the absolute look of death. I really thought she might beat me up. After staring me down for a full minute, she walks away. Shew. I am definitely done now. DONE. SO OVER IT.

The night was, thankfully, uneventful, and I awoke with a song in my heart because I knew I was going HOME. But guess who rode with a ridiculously large balloon between m legs all the way home? Me. It was delightful. Really. It just really put a lovely finishing touch on the whole trip.

So, who wants to go to Disney? Anyone?