{looking.forward}

I'm sorry I've been gone so long. Don't worry. I did survive a nasty case of bronchitis, a flat, shredded tire that we couldn't get off on 95 in the freezing cold and dark, several sketchy gas stations, Christmas at two different houses, a bunch of wild children (mine), another damaged tire (have you ever had actual rips in your tire??), among other things. And now, I'm looking forward to a little peace. That is, after we ring in the new year with equally wild children that I so love to pieces. (Our small group ROCKS by the way. If you ever come to Bluffton, you need to join us. We have the coolest people. Ever.) Anyway, I had the utmost privilege of photographing three PRECIOUS families while I was visiting my mom. Aren't they adorable?? Enjoy.

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{i.blame.disney}

I know. I said I was done. Totally over Disney. Moving on. HOWEVER, I'm looking back on that lovely car ride home. You know, the one where I rode with a GIGANTIC balloon between my legs for 5 hours or so. Yeah, well, the whole ride home, I was super stuffy and used up Grammy's entire box of Kleenex. And guess where that has led to? Yep. I'm sick. Bronchitis, in fact, thanks to the lovely doctor and nurses at our local Doctor's Care. So that seals the deal. I will not be visiting Disney again for a very long time. Maybe ever. If you hear of me booking a trip to Disney World, just staple my head to the floor.

Meanwhile, I'm way behind on showing you some GORGEOUS faces from my last few shoots before Christmas. I have totally finished editing ALL of my sessions! (Except for the ones of my own little girls . . . Maybe next year??)

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{the.not.so.magical.world.of.disney.part.three}

So sorry I kept you hangin' yesterday. Did you guys realize that Christmas is a WEEK away? I'm apparently off on my days, which is clear on Delaney's Christmas count down. We had to glue on, like, 8 or 9 cottonballs to Santa's beard to make up for the days we've forgotten.

OK, so Addy did indeed sleep through the next night, thanks to my friends at Benadryl. Oh, how I love thee. We awoke at our regular early morning time, which allowed us to arrive at the park at a fairly decent time. HOWEVER, there was a thick layer of fog so the ferry boats were not running. Now, here's a question. There are all kinds of boat rides at Disney with the boats on TRACKS. So, here's a brilliant idea . . . put the ferry boats on TRACKS. Then, we don't have to wait with a million other people to get on the blasted monorail. There, I said it. So, after waiting what seemed like an eternity, we finally got on the monorail, stroller and all. I'm no fool anymore. I figured out the system so I don't have to collapse the stroller every five seconds. When we FINALLY (and I mean FINALLY) arrive in the park, it is PACKED. Um, last time I checked, school was still in SESSION. So what were all these kids doing there? Ugh. BUT, I had made a time schedule up for us on this day so we didn't miss any of the highlights. (If there were any to be found.) But, due to the delay of the monorail, we were already an hour behind schedule. We headed to "It's a Small World," where I think I would commit suicide if I had to work that particular ride. It's a precious ride, don't get me wrong, and about as politically correct a ride could be, but, wow, that song just keeps playing and playing and playing. Then, we headed to my most favorite thing - Mickey's Philharmagic (oh, yes, there's the magic again) 3-D show. Seriously, it was SO cool, and I was grabbing for everything along with every 3 and 4 year old as it appeared to fly at my face. The day continues, Addy still refuses to eat anything (INCLUDING THE FOUR DOLLAR PRETZEL I PURCHASED IN A MOMENT OF DESPERATION), and my mom and I starve for we're both too stubborn to admit we're hungry. We finally admit our starvation and head to what I thought was reasonably priced eatery. NO. NOT AT ALL. It would have cost the four of us over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to eat. And, since Addy wasn't eating anything anyway, what was the use? We head to a more reasonably priced eatery, only to find that, yes, it's closed for the season. Fabulous. We whip that stroller around, now angry and hungry and tired, and finally collapse in a restraunt that offers about five things, none of which are chicken nuggets. GASP. So, Grammy to the rescue . . . she goes across the way and gets the girls the only thing that they seem interested in . . . chicken nuggets and french fries. Addy still doesn't eat.

Refreshed and fed, we head to the Jungle Cruise, which was quite funny, I have to admit. After that, we bust a move over to the castle so we can see Cinderella light it up. It's a heavily anticipated moment that takes five forevers, but it is quite magical all lit up. We fight through the crowds and try to locate a spot to watch the Spectromagic (yep, it's magical) Parade. At this point, Delaney has asked for these ridiculously gigantic and expensive balloons at least one hundred times so, thanks to our precious friend, Shauna, I give them their money, and Grammy takes them to buy NINE DOLLAR PRINCESS BALLOONS. NINE DOLLARS. And they are HUGE. They could take out a whole family with one swoop. But the girls are delighted. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO GET THESE ON THAT BLASTED MONORAIL? And, HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO GET THEM HOME? I think of about a thousand ways to pop the balloons on "accident." Nothing works.

Just as the parade is about to begin, Addy decides that now is the time to go to the potty. Grammy graciously takes her (I would have made her wait) and, in the process, the lights go WAY down in the Magic Kingdom, in preparation for the parade. Grammy is nowhere to be found. So, we watch the parade anyway, and I hope that Grammy is OK, gigantic balloon and all. The parade is really incredible, except that my feet feel like they are sinking into the pavement, and I can only see some parts of it, as Delaney is on my shoulders and her big, poofy princess dress keeps covering my eyes. In all honesty, I'm miserable. But, my little girl is having the time of her life. So, that makes it worth it. I guess.

I've had all I can take, so I try to find Grammy. I call her, and she explains where she is located, but, of course, I'm totally unsure. And, in the millions of people packed in, I can't move. At all. So, I decide to wave the ridiculously large balloon in the air like a lunatic and see if Grammy can find us. She can't. I continue to wave the ridicously large balloon like a lunatic and eventually, we find Grammy. I explain we must leave. NOW. So we start going as fast as we can, which is a snail's pace with all of the people. At this point, I've run over about 22.4 people's ankles with the stroller and apologized profusely. We finally make it to the monorail but not before I run into one more person's ankles. And this lady was not a happy camper. I'm pretty sure she arrived to Disney an unhappy camper (heck, she may have arrived in this world an unhappy camper), but I clearly didn't make her day. She gave me the absolute look of death. I really thought she might beat me up. After staring me down for a full minute, she walks away. Shew. I am definitely done now. DONE. SO OVER IT.

The night was, thankfully, uneventful, and I awoke with a song in my heart because I knew I was going HOME. But guess who rode with a ridiculously large balloon between m legs all the way home? Me. It was delightful. Really. It just really put a lovely finishing touch on the whole trip.

So, who wants to go to Disney? Anyone?

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{the.not.so.magical.world.of.disney.part.two}

After much drama (mainly me), we get in the car and tell panties-in-a-wad GPS girl that, indeed, we do want to go to Disney World. Specifically, the Magic Kingdom. Now, all is well until GPS girl decides that the parking lot is not where we want to go. Um, yes, it is. Now hush and calm down. Here's what no one told me. When you park in the Goofy parking lot (or whatever Disney character they've assigned your lot, as if that makes it so much more fun and magical), there is still a LOOOONG process to actually enter into the magic. Unaware of what is ahead, we open up the double stroller, and the girls gladly hop in. (This will not be the case after we have to do this five hundred times.) We stroll to the "golf carts," as Delaney called them, which Disney refers to as the "tram." Here's my issue - No one told me I was just going to have to collapse the blasted stroller again after walking 50 feet. Otherwise, I wouldn't have opened it in the first place. Seriously. So, after much stress and panic, Grammy and I collapse the stroller and get on the tram, as we take out a row of excited Chinese tourists with the now collapsed stroller. Then, the tram drops us off to our next destination, which is not magical either. We open up the stroller and wait to get on the monorail. We think that we have to, again, collapse the stroller so we go into panic mode AGAIN, only to realize that we could have just left the stroller opened. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS. And many people saw me totally stress out as I tried to collapse the stroller with a tremendous backpack loaded on my back and two excited little girls dancing around way too close to the edge of the monorail. Of course, I don't see this because I'm too busy folding up the bloomin' stroller.

We make it on the monorail, and I'm already exhausted and ready to head back home. I'm sweaty and my hairsprayed panties are not holding up. Nonetheless, we press on towards the magic. We finally (and I mean FINALLY) enter the gates to the Magic Kingdom now that our backpacks have been searched only to turn up a thousand different snacks (none of which Addy liked) and water bottles, as if we were going to stay a week.

Have I mentioned that neither I nor my mom (Grammy) has any idea how to read a map. None. So we blindly head the route that I decided we should go in hopes of finding Minnie's house, for that is what the little girls are calling for. We ended up at Mickey's house, and I gotta say, it was pretty boring. I didn't see the magic at all. I begin to anxiously search for magic. We decide to hop on Goofy's rollercoaster, which was actually pretty fun, but Addy didn't totally agree. Her what-the-heck-is-this face told me so. Now, I knew that this particular part of the park is where we can meet the princesses, thanks to my Disney conisseur friend, Susanne, who insanely brings her family to Disney World at least once a year. Susanne, what are you thinking?? Anyway, we get in line to meet the princesses, and after much waiting and even more crying as Addy rolls on the floor and kicks and screams due to a severe lack of sleep (heck, I wanted to do the same, but, sadly, I turned 30 this year, and it's time to grow up), we finally enter the princess room. I must admit, it was so precious to see Delaney's and Addy's faces light up as the princesses greeted them and took pictures with them. (On a side note, I checked out the pictures taken by the photographers because I'm nosey like that. The pictures were TERRIBLE. No offense, Disney photographers, but I was not impressed. I have much to learn, but I could not believe that people actually pay TONS of money for bad pictures with princesses.)

We made it out of the princess room and went on to some fun rides - Pooh's honeypots, the carousel, the Flying Dumbo ride . . . all fairly uneventful and maybe even slightly fun. (I said SLIGHTLY. Not enough to make me return. Ever.) But here's what I observed as we went from ride to ride. Moms super frustrated with their kids. Dads that would rather be anyplace but the most magical place on earth. Brothers and sisters fighting. Grandmothers dragging. You know, at the happiest place on earth, you'd expect people to be, well, happy. Not the case. There were no families of five swinging arms and skipping from ride to ride. There were no lovey dovey couples just taking it all in. Not when you have to wait an hour to meet Pooh bear. I just found it fascinating. Where's the magic, people? I mean really.

We departed the park just after the parade of princesses and dancers, and I was not the least bit sad to leave. At least now I knew exactly how many times and when I had to collapse the blasted stroller. Back to our hotel we went with panties-in-a-wad GPS girl in tow. I was ready to go to bed at the late hour of 5:00, but Delaney and Addy, of course, were full of energy and ready to play. Yipee.

Tune in tomorrow to see if Addy slept through the night. And to find out why I thought I was going to get punched by a lady who was not my biggest fan.

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{the.not.so.magical.world.of.disney.part.one}

For all of you Disney fans out there, you might want to skip the next few blogs. But I feel the need to share the following information for all of you even considering a trip to Disney World. It might save your life. (OK, maybe not your life. You get my point.)

The girls and I load up in my mom's car, excited about the magical experience ahead of us. (OK, the girls were excited. I rarely get geared up for a car ride with little people.) Two minutes into the trip, Addy asks if we're there yet and can we see the castle yet. Um, no. I explain - It's going to be LOOOOOONG ride, OK? We've already broken open the fruit snacks and requested a beverage. What am I? An airline stewardess? Several minutes later, Addy wonders if we can see the castle yet. Um, no. It's going to be a LOOOONG ride. And so it goes. And goes. And goes. We watch Frosty the Snowman for the tenth time. I have already memorized the movie at this point. Addy begins pulling out wires and cries when her DVD player doesn't work. Imagine that. Delaney is oblivious to everything and happily watches Frosty dance down the street. And so it goes. Lunch is rather uneventful, except that Addy doesn't feel the need to go potty. I know it's going to hit her five minutes down the road. And it does. Grammy mercifully pulls off on a sketchy exit and we find some bar-ish place to use the potty. Guess what? Addy doesn't go. I've risked picking up multiple diseases for no good reason. And so it goes. We finally arrive in the vicinity of our hotel, and we actually find it, thanks to Grammy's GPS lady, who I'll affectionately refer to as panties-in-a-wad girl. Seriously, we make one wrong turn, and she's FREAKING OUT. I can freak out on my own. I do it very well. I don't need some computer lady stressing out with me. Gracious. We finally locate the hotel, and the check-in goes surpisingly well.

We decide to head over to Disney to pick up our tickets for the next two days and, of course, we get lost. Again, panties-in-a-wad GPS girl freaks out, and we join her. We finally ask this guy who couldn't have been more than 18, and he just smiles and gracefully lets us know that we can park our car right where we are. We have arrived at our destination. The ticket window takes longer than expected, but that's actually OK as the girls desperately needed to run. I'm not sure how many people appreciated our antics, but I really didn't care. If THEY had been in the car with two little girls for 5 1/2 hours, they would have done the same thing.

We hop back in the car to grab a bite to eat and then back to the hotel. Nothing big to report, here, except that Addy doesn't really eat anything, which continues to be a theme throughout the trip. It's one thing when you're paying $2.99 for a kids meal. It's a whole different ball game when Disney charges four times for the same thing. I mean, seriously, where does Disney have the right to overcharge you for EVERYTHING? Anyway, we return to the hotel, anxiously anticipating meeting my grandmother and aunt, only to discover they had missed their flight. Ugh. Time for bed, then!

The girls are super excited as we snuggle them in their beds, but we finally get them to sleep. However, little did I know what kind of night I was in for. It was bad. Very bad. Addy awoke at 1 am and asked if it was "wake up time." Um, no. Not at all. Then, she asked if the princesses were awake. As sweetly as I could, I explained that all of the princesses were sleeping too, because they knew they needed a good night sleep to have fun in the park tomorrow. Then she asked if they all slept at the castle. How do you explain that to a two year old? I tried, patiently I might add. She was not convinced. And so the questions continued. 2 am rolled around, and I am no longer answering her questions as sweetly as before. I'm getting frustrated, but I'm trying to remember that she's excited and in a new place. I'm seriously praying that God would please, please, please put Addy to sleep. For a long time. A really long time. God, apparently, thought I needed a lesson in patience insted. 3 am rolled around and now I'm ready to throw my child. She has played with all of the window blinds, jumped on the bed, played every sound on my sound machine, asked me another million questions (mostly concering the princesses and the castle), and requested to go potty several times. 4 am rolled around, and I am contemplating how to sleep under the bed. Or just run away. Or hop in Grammy's car and never return. I am beyond angry. I want to go home. NOW. My head is spinning, and my little Addy doesn't seem to pick up on my mad tones and expressions. She has been spanked twice at this point. (If you don't believe in spanking, you apparently don't have a child like Addy. I will loan her to you whenever you wish.) Nothing is working. FINALLY at 4:45, Addy gives up and decides to get a little beauty sleep. I do the same, and we awake at 7:45 am, which would be a record, except that we had been up for 4 and a half hours. I wake up extremely angry, and I really don't want to have anything to do with the magical world of Disney.

Nonetheless, I decide to try and have a good attitude (I say try because I failed miserably. I said some ugly things. I cried buckets of tears. I acted like a two year old. I am ashamed.) I go to grab my clothes for the day ahead and if the day already started out bad, this was a low point. Apparently, my hairspray nozzle had been set off while travelling and ALL of my unmentionables had received a lovely layer of hairspray. Have you ever worn hairsprayed panties? It will not put you in a good mood. At all. And I was already in a bad mood. Can you imagine me? Not a pretty sight.

I'll fill you in on how me and my hairsprayed panties did at Disney World tomorrow. I'm sure you can only imagine.

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{censored}

This may be sharing too much information, but I laughed until I cried on this one. How could I not share?

Here's the convo between my youngest and myself:
"Hey, Mommy?" (yelling from her room because if she steps out into the hallway, I might truly throw her out the window. It's rest time and, quite frankly, I don't want to see my girls. I love them, but I need a break. Or I might staple my head to the floor.)
"Yes?"
"This was in my bum."
"WHAT was in your bum."
"This."
"Come show me." (I really don't want to see this, but she won't let it go until I look upon what she's found. I'm nervous. My stomach is already churning.)
Patter, patter, patter. (She runs everywhere she goes.)
Opens her hand and . . . "Mommy, it's gone. Oh blast." (Not kidding. She said "blast.")
"Oh well." (Freaking out on the inside. What could have possibly fallen on my freshly cleaned floors?)
She searches for it but comes up empty handed. She returns to her room. Back to dressing up in one of the princess gowns our sweet friends have let us borrow. Clearly, she's unaffected.

Tears roll down my face as I recall this convo. I know some of you are disgusted but you have to admit. Pretty funny.

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{my.favorite.spot}

There is a stunning church in our downtown. (When I say downtown, I'm not sure what you think of. Whatever it is, it doesn't look like that. It's a bunch of quirky shops, a few places to eat, some churches, and art galleries galore. But I like it.) Anyway, I have had the privilege of photographing several families out there lately, and I just think it's the perfect spot. The color scheme of the church is mainly white with dark green and red trim. Can you stand it? I mean it screams for photographers to come and use it. Often. So I do. And above is proof. Two precious families, one location.

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